It's catch up session again.
Hi Hajar.
It's the end of community medicine posting already.
Already? Yes, already.
How has community medicine been so far?
I've enjoyed it, thank you for asking.
I think I have the best teammates among other so far.
Like, yeah.
In community medicine, we need to team up for respective topics to study for our Health Intervention Program (HIP). HIP was in week 5. Thus, we have at least 5 weeks to prepare. Seems to be a long time, right? Think again. Thinking of how many nights we stayed up to find literature reviews, prepare slide presentation, prepare survey questions, making reports, preparing for HIP, printing posters, decorations, I am sure we stayed together a little bit too much than usual. It was very awkward at first place but we managed to look over imperfections so that we can move forward. Seriously, talking about imperfections, it was too many to list out. But I got perfect teammates that would back me up if I did wrong. Maybe because we have different role that makes us 'subset-ing' each other lol is this what they called? But I got Revi who would make sure everything was within deadlines (this is important, she claimed she is OCD lol), Hafiz who is good at SPSS data and everything-needs-logic-kinda-guy, Zafran our leader who would balance everything out (important) (and very good in hulla-hoop! lol i is impressed in this one), Kak Nana who is practical, quiet but did anything given to her well and there's me that is average in almost anything but trying hard to survive anyway but im the peace maker and trying my best to make everyone felt comfortable because that's what I am best at (apparently). Cheers to our Ayuni's time together (their tomyam is the best among all, but the wait masyaAllah), time together at IAG, Starbucks (where Zafran had to suffer and buy drinks and cakes when the only thing we want to do is to prepare our reports and plan our sukaneka (and wifi) lol), Board games cafe (without the boys (+farisaaa) but the games were enjoyable dooo!) and when we went to Buai Cafe and met up with the boys from the other group it was kecoh but they were helpful crazy bunch of dorks I swear. Not to forget our celebratory dinner at IKEA, that was the best, everyone just being everyone, we are like children, I can see the inner side of them and that moment was just beautiful to me. At least one night where we dont have to be someone we're not, at least for me. I felt so comfortable. I just hope everyone enjoyed their time. I guess I just have a thing for everyone. My heart was big enough to unrequitedly like everyone for they are. Something not everyone understand. Something that come up tiring it hurts like hell. But it was the only that makes me feel alive. To understand. And I dont know....to be understood? And to not forget when we all meet together as whole to draw and colour our banners, that was when we connect the most, how the time flies. We're almost like family. At that moment. Of course, the priorities are different, not everyone is there though.
On the contradictory, I learnt it was not always what it seemed. Always. Like ying and yang, for the perfection to happen, there must be something you sacrifice. Like for the good thing you did, you need to cancel out your bad habit. Vice versa. It was always the balance of things. For the happiness we did share, was the inner conflicts that wasnt spoken out just to maintain peace. But it was. In the end. And this racism issue came along. WHICH WASNT THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE. Hearing to everyone's side of story, it was probably some misunderstanding. It is still is. But then, it strucked me. Maybe I was the same before. Maybe I was just the same person who acts victim all the time just to make I get sad over the little thing again and again. But the feelings are real. I was really ignorant at that time. So, I kind of understand both side of stories. Which for me, both sides owe their own mistakes. However, we, human are not perfect. Thus, I think all we need is some understanding, without overlooking efficiency in work because making good decision is important in medicine. Which I think pretty much hard as it is. I think I now understand why am I so indecisive in everything. It was so complicated being me. The struggle is real. And under pressure, I will do something stupid as I cant think clearly because I need to take my time. I need to learn more. Or maybe to not waste my time anymore.
(This was supposed to be published on 6th May 2017. I dont think this is the final draft but im going to publish this anyway.) (God bless ignorant Hajar)
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